aporte de Desy
Background object.
Is it possible to engage with a passion in an activity without a secure base to come back to? Studies on attachment show that the toddler will engage in exploratory activities and in play when the mother or the caretaker is close by and that the toddler will interrupt his play to go back for some kind of emotional re-fueling. Others than caretakers may fulfill that role in the adult. The notion that there is somebody there in the background may allow an artist, for example, to engage in hours of art making. A colleague was telling me of a very productive 6 weeks of writing in an isolated place this summer. He was certain that if he didn’t have his wife across the country that he would be joining he would have never been able to immerse himself in his work the way he did. Last Sunday I felt reluctant to work on this paper the whole afternoon without a prospect of seeing anyone the whole day. I made plans to have dinner with a friend for that evening and with that idea I could go to the computer and work steadily for 2 or 3 hours. I knew I would be getting my emotional re-fueling from her later on. And I remember the pleasure of many hours in my studio or at the computer when I knew that my husband was nearby reading, writing or watching TV. This is reminiscent of Winnicot’s statement regarding the capacity to be alone in the presence of another. We may want to see the capacity to be alone as a sign of maturity ignoring that perhaps no matter how old and mature we have become we still need the connection to a significant other.
I thought of working on a paper on passion because in the last 3 years I have noticed that my passion has diminished and wanted to somehow understand that. Of course I blame the 3 and a half years of mourning my husband and I thought that I would recover it some day when the mourning could be over. But I have come to think that I will still need the presence of another. I spoke for example with a gallery owner about my recent work which she didn’t particularly like. She thought my best work was my monoprints and suggested that I try to do that kind of work on canvas. Inspired by our meeting I went to the art store and purchased 2 stretched canvases to start experimenting. The following day, a lonely Sunday, I forced myself to my studio. With the help of one of Shostakovich pieces, a piano quintet that a dear friend gave me, I was able to work steadily for 3 hours. I believe I found my re-fueling in the love of my composer friend who gave me the Shostakovich CD and the music itself. We seem to find different ways to bolster our passion by having a background object to support us. My art teacher worked with the radio on and it had to be a station where there were interviews and talking. If the radio was not working he could not paint. A writer I know does his best work at Starbucks where the people around him become the background object. I have written my best papers during flights. I experience great comfort in being surrounded by the other passengers and in being catered to.
From a developmental point of view these strategies to find emotional refueling may be indicative of an immature ego where the internalization of a good parental couple has not taken hold in the internal world. This goes along with the notion that the capacity to be alone and to work alone are signs of mental health, a notion that is part of the American culture where independence and self-reliance are highly valued. One could argue that the more internalized the parental couple the more the person is able to supply the background object needed for re-fueling. Fairbairn wrote about a mature dependency rather than independency. For him the idea of independence is fostered by a schizoid fantasy of not needing anyone. Along the same lines Sidney Blatt has written about the necessity for a healthy integration between autonomy and self-definition and relatedness. Likewise, the feminists at The Stone Center have emphasized the necessity for balance between independence and reliance on others
Is it possible to engage with a passion in an activity without a secure base to come back to? Studies on attachment show that the toddler will engage in exploratory activities and in play when the mother or the caretaker is close by and that the toddler will interrupt his play to go back for some kind of emotional re-fueling. Others than caretakers may fulfill that role in the adult. The notion that there is somebody there in the background may allow an artist, for example, to engage in hours of art making. A colleague was telling me of a very productive 6 weeks of writing in an isolated place this summer. He was certain that if he didn’t have his wife across the country that he would be joining he would have never been able to immerse himself in his work the way he did. Last Sunday I felt reluctant to work on this paper the whole afternoon without a prospect of seeing anyone the whole day. I made plans to have dinner with a friend for that evening and with that idea I could go to the computer and work steadily for 2 or 3 hours. I knew I would be getting my emotional re-fueling from her later on. And I remember the pleasure of many hours in my studio or at the computer when I knew that my husband was nearby reading, writing or watching TV. This is reminiscent of Winnicot’s statement regarding the capacity to be alone in the presence of another. We may want to see the capacity to be alone as a sign of maturity ignoring that perhaps no matter how old and mature we have become we still need the connection to a significant other.
I thought of working on a paper on passion because in the last 3 years I have noticed that my passion has diminished and wanted to somehow understand that. Of course I blame the 3 and a half years of mourning my husband and I thought that I would recover it some day when the mourning could be over. But I have come to think that I will still need the presence of another. I spoke for example with a gallery owner about my recent work which she didn’t particularly like. She thought my best work was my monoprints and suggested that I try to do that kind of work on canvas. Inspired by our meeting I went to the art store and purchased 2 stretched canvases to start experimenting. The following day, a lonely Sunday, I forced myself to my studio. With the help of one of Shostakovich pieces, a piano quintet that a dear friend gave me, I was able to work steadily for 3 hours. I believe I found my re-fueling in the love of my composer friend who gave me the Shostakovich CD and the music itself. We seem to find different ways to bolster our passion by having a background object to support us. My art teacher worked with the radio on and it had to be a station where there were interviews and talking. If the radio was not working he could not paint. A writer I know does his best work at Starbucks where the people around him become the background object. I have written my best papers during flights. I experience great comfort in being surrounded by the other passengers and in being catered to.
From a developmental point of view these strategies to find emotional refueling may be indicative of an immature ego where the internalization of a good parental couple has not taken hold in the internal world. This goes along with the notion that the capacity to be alone and to work alone are signs of mental health, a notion that is part of the American culture where independence and self-reliance are highly valued. One could argue that the more internalized the parental couple the more the person is able to supply the background object needed for re-fueling. Fairbairn wrote about a mature dependency rather than independency. For him the idea of independence is fostered by a schizoid fantasy of not needing anyone. Along the same lines Sidney Blatt has written about the necessity for a healthy integration between autonomy and self-definition and relatedness. Likewise, the feminists at The Stone Center have emphasized the necessity for balance between independence and reliance on others
posted by jorge israel at 6:42 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home